I really hurt today and I hurt most of last night - did not sleep well. What has happened is that the Cannabinoids I have been taking have been tearing apart the inflammation surrounding the remaining tumors and leaving it raw. The inside of mouth mouth has several very sharp hot spots, my inner tongue is swollen and tender, my jaw and some teeth are aching, and I can feel similar things going on around my right ear and the rt side of my neck. Is this working as a 'tumor locater'? Interesting how strong its effect is . . . .
At the same time I have to report some progress. After I hack and clear for an hour or two, the pressure is greatly relieved, the pain is down, and I can feel a new energy. In my mouth, this means my inner tongue is more flexible and can feel around my mouth. One thing it feels is that on many teeth - especially the top teeth, there is much less inflammation surrounding the teeth. I can feel teeth with my tongue. Also, my jaw is becoming slightly more flexible. This is a 'for sure' improvement, because at the worst of it, my jaw was locked shut - no movement. So as the inflammation lessens, more normal activity returns. Also, I can feel there to be less puffiness in my cheeks and jaw. So the cleansing is moving down. Good! And moving this dross out! Good again.
One thing I have noticed from the people who are promoting these kinds of Hemp Oil producs and their 60 or 90 day protocols is that they do not include days off the medicine. This is interesting to me in that if it kills cancer which is of a physical substance, then there is some kind of dead material for the body to scavenge and haul off to eliminate. Most all other programs - - especially ones 2 and 3 months in duration have a day or two off on a regular basis to allow the body to scavenge, process, and dump. And since I am hurting in the mouth today, I am wondering if that sort of 'rest day' awareness would be good to put in the program. I think for now, I will take 'nights off'. I don't tend to sleep well on Cannabis anyways, so better all around.
Remember with me . . . . I do not have a coach here. I have a very dedicated and present partner in my beloved Trish, but there is no guide book on how to really use the 18% CBD Hemp Oil. So we are on the journey somewhat solo and un-guided. That can be a good thing - - it will force me to really stay tuned into my feelings - and my breath when it gets tough.
Well, right now it is tough. My inner tongue and cheeks are raw and shredded and feel like they are being torn apart. So, I should write about this.
I passed e-mails with my Ear, Nose, Throat doc in Anchorage earlier this week. I had a couple Trache questions and wanted to share with him my feeling and thinking that the hanging old 'exo-tongue, the one that got blasted with radiation, might be preparing to be discarded. It is filled with toxins, getting hard, and the bonds between it and my mouth are lessening as the inflammation peels off my teeth. I know, this is weird. Please track with me.
There is getting to be very little tissue connecting the old tongue to my mouth, and virtually no contact between the old 'exo-tongue' and the real tongue inside my mouth and teeth (thank goodness). For the past 2 days and nights, the purging has focussed on the upper part of my mouth and cheeks. Most of my upper teeth are now exposed, and pretty soon, the old tongue will be hanging only by the adhesions to my lower teeth and cheeks. I will be able to stick out 2 tongues at once. Ha! I will become a circus act. If the same process happens to my lower teeth and cheeks and the adhesions there come loose, the old tongue indeed will separate and come off.
What a relief that will be!
Anyways, that's where I am today. I'm in a void, somewhere. This last 24 hours has been the most painful day for me since my last killer headache a few years ago. I have been blessed with virtually no deep and lasting pain in the last two years, a good fortune for which I am very grateful. With these sharp and dull pressure pains, I can real feel so much more for those who endure weeks and months of pain as they go thru their time with Cancer.
In the moment . . . . it is mid-day here in Shasta. It is sunny, and cool, and prime time to go walk around the yard. I will have to keep my shoes on, so for earthing today, I will hug trees and say prayers as I go around and around. The yard is 2.5 acres, the trees are Cedar, Fir, Pine, Oak, Dogwood, and Madronne, and the rocks are Shasta Volcanic. It is a special yard to walk around - - very loved. I will breathe the essential oil laden air, be grateful for the beauty of the Angels in my life, and appreciate the moments in nature.
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